A Lying Skank Am I

"How do you like school?"
"I love it so much, thank you for this beautiful opportunity."
"Oh I'm so glad."

"I fucking hate it."
Why can't I ever decide my opinion on something? I'm not trying to fulfill social obligations when I say I love my school. I love my new friends.They are gifts. They still have so much to learn, but I know I'm worse off than them.

And I'm trying new things right and left. But there' so much to think about that I can't assess anything. I'm too generous towards every test. And then I'm rude to it. And as much as I feel it's wrong to trick yourself into thinking you know what you want to do for the rest of your life, I'm a second away from it. How will I ever know when something is right? I can't decide what fucking socks to wear. It makes keeping my self esteem from it's suicide mission an impossible task. Boom.

It's all linked. And we are all linked, and I wish someone would see inside me, someone who knows me better than anyone, and tell me what to do, because Patty says well "Why don't you think about it this way?" and "If you're having doubts about your university then..." No No No. I haven't been this frustrated in forever and I was so mad I have no memory of that topic.

Woahhh, No. Fuck this. The house is filled with Darryl's shuffling in his dumb slippers and hatred of everything. And then Patty making me feel like I have no direction and "Just say a prayer." I need focus, I need to be on my own, how do they always make me so crazy so fast?

I need silence. I need silence. I need music. I need silence. What?!