It's part of my personality type. It's part of being an ENFP, it's just part of life this time around. To get all these great ideas and abandon them. I'm sorry to all those great ideas that never got to take shape. I think it's why I can't finish a song, or my homework. Except when I've been trained. Or have something to fear, like letting others down. I don't care about letting myself down, I probably do that everyday.
I went to three wrong classrooms today, trying to find my italian class, which has already met twice. I felt so defeated and dumb that I just decided to call it a day. I'm being the biggest baby ever. I'm starting to make myself believe that I'm going to quit piano before I've even picked it up again.
And yesterday or two days ago I was just talking about how I've finally settled in. I know everything isn't in it's place, but since when have I had a problem with that? Maybe this huge fat sadness sitting in the pit of my stomach is showing me that I'm finally comfortable here. Comfortable enough to admit that I'm having a bad day.
But I'm scared this is is the monster of the deep, coming to get me again.
Naw. I'm just waiting for a flash of good to take over the current darkness.
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