forget about your House of Cards and i'll do mine

Things I have been thinking about during my absence, when my mind wasn't wrapped up in music or the stories I've been devouring this summer:

It's cool to observe how everyone is treating this transition stage. We're all leaving each other and going elsewhere, but each person's reaction is different.
Katie is working out, worrying up a storm, avoiding contact with anyone or any situation she doesn't want to encounter. I wonder if she'll regret not spending every moment with us and how she'll face the new situations that she surely won't want to encounter that are ahead of her.
Will is neglecting the ones he loves a bit. Maybe to prepare to leave us. But he's forsaking us for those old standbys again. They've been there for longer, but we've been there more hardcore. I dunno. I just miss him.
Sarah cries, my baby. She feels. She gets embarrassed. Her whole house is mourning. She is sentimental for this place and this time.
Claire is Claire. Mel is Mel.

For me it seemed like this started when I committed to BU back in ohh May I guess it was? Or even when senior year rolled around. I've always been a gradual mourner. For me it's easier. It makes sense. It's a way to appreciate things rather than just ignoring them. I feel the sadness but I feel it because I feel the beauty. I try to see everyone I can as much as I can. Even those people who weren't a significant part of my life for four years hold a special place that I'm trying to fill. Like Sarah I'm sentimental about all these little things. I go to the places I love. I drive around. I watch the weather change. I look at leaves. I go for walks. I drink the coffee that I love. I make mixes of country music. I bought cowboy boots. I stay home. I drive to places of opportunity, to try to remember them, so that I'll come back. home. To me this is home more than any other place has been. Ask me in a year, if I'll ever be back for good.

It never seems to hit me, until it hits me.