Muse

I've been inspired lately by my lack of inspiration.
Sometimes so much nothing to say that it feels like there's something important you need to get across. Or you're just so used to feeling the same things again and again that they lose their emotion. I've been lost in a frantic grasping for a future. And it's faded into a twinge in the back of my head. Right under my ponytail being employed in the real world looms. Immediately in front of it a sharper pang triggers my heart, unloved still after 18 years.
And it all feels like art is swirling in every dragon-exhale of turkish gold smoke. I feel invincible and then I feel all weakness. Everything in the same moment. My nerves are curling up in fetal position, trying to recover from the pull.
Because it's art that flows from my fragile heart, attempting to shield my soul's soar, I know it's what I'll do forever. But I feel so mediocre. I want to touch You. To know Him.